


This Isn't Freedom

by orphan_account



Series: Marvel Cinematic Universe [1]
Category: Captain America (Movies), Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Alternate Ending, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Bucky Barnes Needs a Hug, Captain America: The Winter Soldier, F/M, Hurt Bucky Barnes, Hydra (Marvel), Slow Burn, Slow Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-05-09
Updated: 2016-05-09
Packaged: 2018-06-05 17:39:41
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 17
Words: 14,227
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6714532
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Fury nodded, making Hill sat back down grudgingly, and Captain America to withdraw back to where he had stood before: looking somewhat defeated: "They're right. So, if you're not here to kill me...what do you want?"</p><p>"To help."</p><p> </p><p>In which The Winter Soldier is not actually a bad guy. Sort of.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

   "S-sir...he..he's unstable..." I heard Agent Dugan's voice stutter: "Erratic."

 

   The door creaked open, the heavy iron bars moving aside to reveal Alexander Pierce and Agent Rumlow themselves. The strode in like there was no danger posed to them: when the rest of the scientists were pressed up against the walls, keeping as far away from me as possible, in case I lashed out again. Not that I blamed them.

   My Handler and Rumlow may not feel it, but I _was_ dangerous. Normally not to my allies, my owners, but right now...right now I was unstable. I wanted to lash out, I wanted to hurt, maim, kill. And Pierce and Rumlow were looking like particularly interesting targets. Especially when Pierce walked through the guards aiming the machine guns at me, even going so far as to tell them to put their weapons _down_. The idiot.

   If my conditioning wasn't keeping my from attacking the man who wasn't my handler...he'd be dead on the floor.

 

   He looked at me coldly, putting his glasses in his blazer pocket to stare at me, forcing me to lower my eyes so he could demand: "Mission report."

   I hesitated.

   "Mission report. Now."

   Still, I didn't speak. Not until Pierce moved closer, leaned down, and backhanded me across the face. I heard it more than felt it; used to pain by now, but the sound still snapped my out of my hesitation, made me speak up: "The man on the bridge..."

 

   _Blonde hair. Blue eyes. Strong, muscled frame...no, skinny, weak. He got sick a lot. He was invincible, never got sick, never died. Always ready to stand up for people. He called me Bucky._

 

   "Who was he?"

   "You met him earlier this week on another assignment."

 

   _Liar_.

  

   I may not be able to attack Pierce like I wanted to. And I may not remember everything - _or anything at all_ \- about my own life before the last time I came out of the cryogenics chamber. But I knew what a liar looked like. I was trained to know what liars looked like.

   And Alexander Pierce was most definitely lying.

 

   "I knew him." I pushed.

   "Your work has been a gift to mankind." Pierce said carefully, ignoring my statement and pushing forwards: "You shaped the century. And I need you to do it one more time. Society is at a tipping point between order and chaos, and tomorrow morning: we're going to give it a push. But...if you don't do your part, I can't do mine. And HYDRA can't give the world the freedom it deserves."

   "But I knew him."

 

   Pierce sighed, clearly having lost his temper with me.

   He wasn't one to lash out in anger, though, not like some of my handlers. Instead he knew he could get to me in a way that mere violence could never achieve...he was going to prep me memory again. He was going take away my self again, repeat those...those words, and make me into the monster again.

   The Winter Solder.

 

   "Prep him."

   "He's been out of cryo for too long." protested one of the scientists softly. One of the better ones. I didn't know her, but she was brave - stood up to Pierce, and Rumlow, when she could. Tried to avoid doing anything to cause me any pain.

 

   It didn't always work; she couldn't disobey direct orders, and if one of her superiors told her to prep me, wipe me, do anything to me, she had to do it: even if it hurt me. I didn't hold her responsible.

 

   _She was the only person in here I would hesitate to break their neck._

 

   "Then wipe him and start over."

 

   _Pierce would get no such consideration._

   The scientist sighed but went about her work, heading over to her station at the computer banks as her colleagues pushed me back into the seat. I opened my mouth, allowing them to put the bit between my teeth, watching my defender the whole time. She wouldn't look at me: I could only see the profile of her face, set in grim determination and unhappiness. The metal clamps fixed around my arms, holding me in place as the machines whirred, and I finally took my eyes off of the female scientist to watch the metal above my head move towards my face, electricity sparking along my skin.

   And then I screamed as the pain ripped through my head.


	2. Chapter 2

   I woke up alone in the cell.

   It was dark, quiet, and - most of all - peaceful. There was no-one barking orders at me, and the room may have been cold, and the bed uncomfortable, but at least I wasn't cut up and bleeding. I was the Winter Soldier. Cold and discomfort weren't things that bothered me in the slightest.

   Knowing it would be expected of me, I rose to my feet and stood in the centre of the barren room, awaiting on of the agents to come and fetch me to give me my mission from my handler. It never took them long: this time was no exception, a young female arriving two minutes and forty-one seconds later, a paper dossier in one hand, and an electronic key-card in the other.

 

   "Soldier." she greeted quietly. It wasn't a statement of rank, her tone was wrong for that, it was...she was saying hello, in the only way she would be allowed, knowing that the cameras would be recording sound as well as pictures.

   "Agent." I responded in the same tone, with a small nod.

   "You are to take this folder to hotel room 673 in the Miragé Hotel on North Avenue. Everything you need will be there. Read this folder and complete the mission it gives you."

   "Yes, Agent."

 

   She gave me a nod and a small, sad smile (too small for the cameras to notice) before opening the door wider and gesturing for me to proceed her out. No-one wanted the Winter Soldier at their back; HYDRA agents didn't trust each other, and they most definitely didn't trust their superiors. Having an assassin at your back, an assassin controlled by HYDRA command wasn't something they felt safe with.

   Not that seeing me coming would save this female. She was nothing: fragile, short, weak. I could break her spine in a heartbeat, tear her lungs out in the blink of an eye - and there was nothing she could do about it. She wasn't even armed.

   I left HYDRA's Washington base of covert operations, and followed the orders given to me. It was only half-way there that I realised that the agent hadn't used the conditioning...she hadn't used the selected phrases to turn me into the Winter Soldier...I could remember everything since I had last heard them. Including her attempted disobedience of Pierce last night.

   Was she trying to undermine HYDRA? Or was it pity for me that fuelled her?

   Either way, I'd snap her puny neck when I returned to HYDRA. Non-conformance was unacceptable, and she had put a major asset, the Winter Soldier itself, at risk by not conforming to the rules of how the weapon that I knew I was was supposed to be aimed, prepped, and fired. She was a danger to HYDRA's plans, and therefore had to be eliminated.

   I moved into the hotel room through the window left ajar for me, the darkness of pre-dawn hiding me from the few people on the street. There was, as promised, all the weapons I needed on the bed, set out in neat black cases. I checked everything over, deciding it was fine, before sitting at the table/vanity/desk that ran along the wall to read the folder. It was an easy enough task. Protect Pierce as he made his way through Washington to S.H.I.E.L.D. head quarters. I wasn't required to be at his address for another hour...

   A small note fell out of the folder, a light blue square with looping hand-writing on it, the same that had been on the agent's identity key card this morning.

 

    _ **Middle left draw. Open it.**_

 

   I turned to look down at the draw.

   Certainly looked innocent enough. I couldn't see that it had been rigged in any obvious way, and when I checked the draws below and above it, there was no subtle attempts at putting in any traps either. It must be something I needed for the mission, something that was too sensitive to be left on the bed with the weaponry and a leather jacket.

   Opening it, I found nothing for my mission.

   I found food. And another note on blue paper, in looped hand writing.

 

_**I checked your files - nothing in here should case any adverse reactions. Please eat, and put the leftovers & tray in the bottom draw when you're done.** _

 

   Taking the plastic covering off of the plate, the scent of freshly cut fruit hit me like a truck. When was the last time I had had fresh fruit? And black coffee - with creamer and sugar on the side. There was even bacon and toasted bread, still hot.

   The agent was feeding me now?

   Another breach of conformity. I would have to do more than break her neck, now. I would have to interrogate her, see how far her rebellion had spread - and whether it was just her involved, or if there were others. And I really didn't want to do that.

    Clearly the agent - the scientist - was just trying to help me. She didn't like the way I was treated, and was trying to rectify it. But what was also clear was that she didn't know I wasn't human like her; I was a weapon, an asset. And if mishandled, like she was currently doing, I could be even more dangerous than I was when I was on HYDRA's leash. I could hurt anyone and everyone who I wanted.

 

   _I wouldn't hurt her._

 

   Ignoring the traitorous part of my brain that should have been silenced by the last wipe and reconditioning, I decided that it would be a shame to waste this food. And I hadn't eaten for a while: although this maybe wasn't the most nutritious breakfast that had been worked out by scientists to best fit my needs, it would give me energy. Energy I would need to operate at maximum efficiency today. I would eat the food the agent had provided for me. And I wouldn't rat her out to Pierce or anyone else.

   Although I was going to have to have a word with her about her behaviour - quietly of course - I wasn't going to betray her, not when all she was trying to do was help me as much as she could. I wouldn't kill her, not this time.

   Next time, though...I wouldn't be her protector.


	3. Chapter 3

   "Sir, with all due respect - "

 

   There was a harsh slap, a sharp intake of breath and a whimper, and then silence.

 

   "That's better, Agent Cooper." came the voice of Pierce: "Now, Agent Rumlow came to me with something very interesting this morning. Apparently, you forgot to do something very important."

 

   I cursed Rumlow. Standing just outside Pierce's Kitchen, in the only blind-spot in this hallway, I listened as Pierce chewed out Agent Cooper, the one person in the whole of HYDRA that I would hesitate to kill. And all because of Agent Rumlow and his obsessive need to suck up to Pierce to stay in his good graces.

   To be fair, it wasn't if he could stay in them any other way.

   Agent Rumlow was incompetent. He was, at best, a mediocre agent who's only talent was being in the right place at the right time, and knowing who to brown nose. Bastard. He was a waste of a command position. And now he was going to get Agent Cooper into trouble.

   For some reason that made me very, very angry.

 

   "Do you know what I am talking about?" questioned Pierce.

   "No, sir." came the stony response. Brave woman.

   "You forgot to make our asset into the Winter Soldier." Pierce informed her, sounding almost like a disapproving parent...which made him more dangerous than when he sounded pissed: "You may have cost HYDRA one of her most important asset."

   "I don't understand, sir."

 

   Clever; she was playing innocent. It might just save her, if he bought it...I could only hope for her sake she was a good actress.

   Then again, I knew how expressive her face was. And it was testament to the fact that I _could_ remember how expressive her face was that showed she was in the wrong here, at least in Pierce's mind.

   And Pierce's mind was the only one that mattered.

 

   "I think you do, Elizabeth." In fact, I know you do.

   "Honestly, sir. I don't."

   Another slap, and the thud of flesh meeting a solid surface: one that made me wince. Agent Elizabeth Cooper's head had just smacked off of something, and it didn't sound good. "You forgot to say the words, Cooper."

   "Sir? I wasn't made aware of anything I was supposed to say to the Winter Soldiers other than to pass him the folder and tell him where he was supposed to collect his gear this morning."

   "Was this your first time giving the asset his instructions this morning, Agent Cooper?"

   "Yes sir."

   "And who briefed you on the task?"

   "Agent Sitwell, sir...sir, may I be candid for a moment?"

   "You may."

   "Was I not supposed to collect the Winter Soldier? It's not part of my usual duties, and I wondered if perhaps the message had somehow come through to me by mistake. When I got no response from Sitwell, I just assumed it was best to do as my instructions said."

   "And those instructions did not include a list of words to say to the asset, ending in the words 'freight train', for you to say to the asset?"

   "No, sir. Just to pass on the folder and tell him where his gear was waiting."

   There was a moment of silence, filled with tension. I could just imagine Pierce's cold green eyes boring into the innocent woman's face, trying to detect whether or not she was telling the truth - something even I couldn't tell: "I believe you, Agent Cooper. You may go."

 

   A chair scrapped across the floor: Agent Cooper eager to get out of the way of Pierce's anger. Innocent or not, no-one would blame her. Even Pierce himself; he knew exactly how much he intimidated people, he revelled in it. He liked to inflict fear and suffering upon people, because he was a coward.

   Which was why, as soon as I saw Agent Cooper walking towards the front door, her back turned away from both Pierce and me, I wasn't surprised to hear a gun's safety clicking 'off'.

   He was going to shoot her in the back.

   Acting on instinct, I rushed forwards. I grabbed Agent Cooper, feeling the bullet graze off of my metal arm. I pushed Cooper towards the door, turning back to Pierce and shooting back at him to prevent him from getting a clear shot at her or me. Then I put the wall between us...only to find a car waiting for me, door open and engine running.

 

   "Get in the fucking car!"

 

   ...I did.


	4. Chapter 4

   "Why are you doing all of this?" I asked a determined looking Agent Cooper, her jaw sent and frown-lines marring the porcelain skin of her forehead...stretching the purple and black skin of the bruise on her temple, looking painful.

   "...Because you stopped him shooting me in the back?"

   "No, all of this. You greeted me this morning. And I _know_ you didn't forget to condition me. Then you provided food, real food for me. And now you're helping me get away, even though leaving me behind would give you more of a head-start. What's your angle here?"

   She sent me a look from the side of her eyes. She looked confused as to why I was asking such a question - like she wouldn't be suspicious in my shoes; nobody was ever kind to me for no reason. "...Uh...I think you're a great assassin, and it would greatly improve my chances if you liked me and wanted to help me, since you're trained to escape places and, at best, I'm a computer geek."

 

   _Liar_.

 

   She was lying. Her reasons for helping me were _not_ selfish...at least, they weren't selfish in the way that I had thought they were; she wasn't trying to influence me into helping her. _No, I was being stupid enough to do that without her persuasion_ , I thought not just a little bitterly, but didn't dwell on the point before moving on to think about why she might want to help me if it wasn't out of selfishness.

 

   "Do you pity me?" I asked.

   "Uh, well...maybe, I guess? It's more sympathy. The way HYDRA was treating you just wasn't right - I'm fairly sure I can't go back, so you shouldn't have to either. Besides, HYRDA is just fucking...wrong. They're completely and utterly wrong."

   "You understand that you're part of HYDRA, don't you?" I asked: "And I am, too?"

   "I didn't have a choice. And from your files, you didn't either."

   "You have access to my files?" I pushed. No-one had access to my files other than top brass at HYDRA. I could count on my fingers how many I people I knew had had access to my files...and none of them had been like Elizabeth Cooper.

   "...Er...technically, no. But I'm a computer geek, I know how to get things from databases."

   "And yet you're only getting fired now."

   "Well, I'm _good_ at getting things from databases."

 

   I smiled...well, my lips twitched up slightly at the side for a second before immediately falling back into my usual expressionless mask. Elizabeth Cooper was definitely someone I could get along with. Which made having to be in a car with her infinitely easier; it wasn't good when you wanted to kill the person in the driving seat, I'd learned that from experience.

   We drove in silence for an hour. I was getting more and more suspicious of the fact Pierce hadn't sent any cars after us...but then, I hadn't been shooting to disarm him, I had been shooting to kill. Maybe fate had been kind enough to me for once to allow my plans to work. _Then again_ , I thought as two sleek black cars pulled out of an alley way to follow us, _maybe not_.

   Cooper swore under her breath, before flicking a few switches, a calm, electronic voice started making suggestions, guiding Cooper through more and more drastic stunts to evade the cars. S.H.I.E.L.D. or HYDRA, I wasn't sure. Either way, I was going to deal with them exactly the same.

 

   "Guns?"

   "Glove compartment. Glock."

   "I'm going to shoot to kill." I warned her, opening the glove compartment.

   She swerved drastically, a bullet zipping past the windshield: "Fuck! Don't care - just please get rid of them!"

 

   I pulled the weapon out, checking it over. In good condition, there was more ammunition in the glove compartment, and it was already loaded. Not my first choice, but it was serviceable.

   Winding down the window, I waited until one of the cars started to pull slightly ahead before ordering Cooper to stop the car. She did, and I shot out the back tyres, sending the first car swerving wildly into the second one as they raced past us, forcing both vehicles to a halt. Four more bullets, and I was sure none of the cars would be moving, and one of the two gunmen was dead. I stepped out of the car: crouching down to give myself some cover, before leaping up to rattle off three shots. One driver dead, the other disarmed.

   Even with that, there was still a hail of bullets sailing overhead, making me growl in frustration. They had more bullets than me - and, I calculated, at least one extra gunman, probably two. If I waited this out, I was going to get both Cooper and myself shot.

 

   _Unacceptable._

 

   I leapt up, getting off two shots. Two men down: a gunman, and the remaining driver. Ducking again, I counted my ammunition. I had just enough to kill the two remaining gunmen, and two misses. And they still had a shit-tonne of bullets more than I did.

   This wasn't going to be pretty. But it was my only real option.

   Carefully, I snuck around the other side of the car, diving behind the abandoned one behind it. I could hear police sirens in the distance, and I knew we didn't have long. Four minutes, at most. Still moving as cautiously as possible, I crept around empty cars and vans until I was right next to the gunmen. They were still shooting determinedly at the driver's window of Cooper's car: too focused to realise I'd moved. Idiots.

   I shoot the nearest one through the head, just as Cooper's window shattered and I heard her scream. The last gunman turned to face me, finger already tightening on the trigger. Pain ripped through my human shoulder, a bullet getting lodged in the muscle there. And then he went down, without me getting off a shot.

   I turned round to see Cooper aiming a small, silver pistol out of her window. Blood dripped down her pale face from a multitude of glass cuts, and she was panting with adrenaline, her eyes wide and terrified as she looked back at me:

 

   "C'mon. We gotta go - now."


	5. Chapter 5

   "Where we going?" I asked. We'd switched cars, Cooper behind the wheel of a quick little red car I was really hating right now; it did not have nearly enough leg room for me.

   "A friend's." she replied quietly: "He'll help us hide - and he has no interest in HYDRA taking over the world, so he might help in other ways too. Plus, you need medical attention, and there aren't many more technologically advanced than him when it comes to medicine."

   Sounds powerful: "And who is this friend of yours?"

   "Uh...Doctor Doom."

   "...How on _earth_ do you know Victor Von Doom?"

   "I helped him with a computer algorithm when we were in University. And we hated the same bloke while we were there. And there were other more...personal reasons why he owes me a favour." she shrugged, wincing. Clearly she'd pulled something in her shoulder, but she was driving okay. I'd make sure she got it checked out when we got there, if Doom was going to be as helpful as she thought he was going to be. I had my doubts.

 

   The next hour was silent. Before we switched cars again at a gas station and took off again. Another two hours later and we pulled up outside a vast, sprawling mansion in the middle of the countryside. All very old and expensive-looking in a tasteful way, but I had no doubt the security here was something even I would struggle to get through.

   We should be safe for the next few days. Especially if Doom was as hostile to HYDRA as Cooper predicted - and Cooper knew him better than me, so I would believe that he did, for now. I, nor anyone else, would blame him; they were trying to steal control over the world right out from under his shiny metal nose. If I was him, I wouldn't be too fond of them either.

 

   Cooper pulled up slowly to the front gate, stopping to speak into a small intercom: "I'm here to see Victor Von Doom. Elizabeth Melissa Cooper, and guest."

   _'We have facial recognition. We know who you are - and we are not willing to let you in.'_

   "Is that so?"

   _'It is.'_

   "And me using an unfortunate name-drop wouldn't do anything to change that? I mean, I might have to tell my friend what I called my dear friend in University, and then when we get recaptured - "

   _'You are rambling.'_ the intercom cut her off.

   "I'm tired. And cranky. You know what happens then, Vee."

   _'The Master's name is Doom.'_

   "I know it's you, Vee. Please let me in. I'm hurt and if you don't help me I'm going to be dead real soon. Please."

 

   There was a pause...and then the gate opened.

 

   "I'm impressed." I muttered.

   "Just wait until you meet him face to face."

 

   We pulled up to the front of the steps, stepping out of the car just as the doors opened and a man I recognised by his mask to be Doctor Doom stood at the top of the steps, glaring down at us in an expensive black-on-black suit rather than his recognisable armour and green cape.

   The cold, dark eyes softened slightly as he saw the blood on Cooper's face. Then hardened when they landed on me.

 

   "You are abusing our friendship, Miss Cooper. And your mere cuts are not as serious an injury as you implied."

   "They're getting infected. I can feel it." she replied blithely, heading up the steps without the slightest hesitation. Not that Doom made any effort to stop her: "And besides...my friend here save my life. And he needs medical help, so it's basically the same thing as me being injured."

   She walked past him and into the foyer, waiting for him and I to join them and for Doom to say: "They are not nearly the same, Mel."

   "Vee!" she whined: "Please, promise to help him. He saved my life - my boss would've shot me in the back if not for him. And then there was the gunmen on the way here. He got shot in the arm and lost his job because of me."

   "Why is getting shot less impressive to you than losing his job?"

   "Just because you're a king and don't have to get a job!" Cooper exclaimed dramatically: "You don't understand! The job market is hell!"

   "If I promise to help him, will you stop being so over-dramatic?"

   "Yes. But you have to promise fully, and not leave yourself any loopholes."

   Doom sighed, rolling his eyes, but complied: "I, Victor Von Doom, promise to provide medical assistance to the Winter Soldier, Sargent Barnes, to remove the bullet from his arm and then help him back to health afterwards. Acceptable?"

   "Acceptable." Cooper agreed.

 

   And then she passed out dramatically on the floor.

   

 


	6. Chapter 6

   "You can't ever do anything calmly, can you?"

   "I was the most entertaining part of your University years, and you know it."

   "You were very useful when it came to aggravating Richards."

 

   Doom (or 'Vee', as Cooper insisted upon calling him) had been going on since she woke up. After she'd chewed him out for me still being still bleeding - which wasn't really his fault. I had refused to leave her side until I knew she was fine: and now I had a doctor digging the slug out of my arm while Cooper smirked at Doom proudly.

 

   "That was the most entertaining part of _my_ University years. Of course I was going to help out as much as I could."

   "You and your big heart."

 

   Cooper smiled beatifically, looking like an angel.

   After fainting, Doom had carefully picked her up and carried her up the stairs to a luxurious guest bedroom. It appeared not to have been the first time that she had stayed here - there were pyjamas one of Doom's maids had put on her, and she was obviously subconsciously comfortable in that bed. Now, since her hair had been taken down, her golden hair was haloed around her head, the hazel-brass colour of her eyes glowing with mischief, and her soft mouth was tilted up into a smile. Her face was wiped clean of blood, and she had a few butterfly bandages over a few of the wider cuts.

   She looked happy. Safe. And obviously she did know Doom as well as she thought she did - thankfully. Otherwise I felt the robot currently removing the bullet from my arm would probably be trying to kill me.

 

   "Now...tell me why you have shown up to my estate, bleeding, in a stolen car, thinking you're about to be murdered. And all with the infamous Winter Soldier in tow."

   "...I got fired."

   "Ah, yes, it all becomes clear now." Doom retorted sarcastically, rolling his eyes: "Elaborate."

   "Okay, I - and he - worked for some bad people. Then one of them set me up - didn't give a crucial detail for a task, and getting me called into my boss's house. I thought he knew I was telling the truth, but then I heard a safety clicking off behind my back...and then the Winter Soldier appeared and pushed me out the way." Cooper turned to give me a grateful smile: "Then we drove off, get shot at before we got out of the city, which I wouldn't have survived without him, and then...we came here. It was the only safe place I could think of."

   "Of course - Doom's embassies are the most secure buildings in all of America." Doom boasted. I wasn't sure I believed him, but oh well: "You may rest and heal here. I assume you will also be looking for revenge on your employer?"

   Agent Cooper grinned, the expression managing to be both innocent and terrifying at the same time: "Obviously."

   "I will gather the necessary equipment, if you would be so kind as to provide me with a list. And I will lend you some doombots."

   "Thank you." Cooper smiled.

 

   Doom turned to me and scanned me from head to foot. The robot was done by now, the skin around my bullet wound numbed by whatever drugs they'd used. The drugs weren't clouding my judgement, so I was guessing at best some form of mild local anaesthetic. It left me aware enough to know Doom was studying me...and to know that that was probably not a good thing.

 

   Fortunately, the next words out of this mouth were not a threat: "From the way you are sitting like a guard dog with it's master, I assume you will not be wanting a room of your own?"

   "No, thank you." I replied, working to maintain a polite attitude to this megalomaniac: "I will stay with Agent Cooper."

   "Mel?"

   "He's fine, Vee." Cooper nodded, looking tired again: "He's a friend."

   Doom nodded: "As you wish."

 

   Then he left. Leaving me alone with the woman who considered me a friend.

   Not an asset. Not a weapon. A _friend_.

   In that second, my mind was fully made up. Agent Cooper was to be protected at all costs; she was the first person who had seen me as anything other than something to be used or avoided at all costs. I wasn't sure what it said about her mental state, but at the end of the day that only made me more determined to protect her. Cooper was a _good_ person.

   As far as I was concerned, my loyalty no longer belonged to HYDRA.

   Now, it belonged to her.


	7. Chapter 7

   "Do you know my name?" I asked Agent Cooper as we sat in her room: her resting in bed and me sitting on a chair watching over both the door and windows. She'd read my files, I was hoping she could remember what I was called before I was the Winter Solider.

   "James Buchanan Barnes." came the immediate response. "You're friends called you - "

   "Bucky." I interrupted: "The man on the bridge called me Bucky - he knew me. And I knew him."

   "You did." she told me, confirming what I already knew: "I didn't get to read all of your file; someone walked in on me, and I had to go back to what I was supposed to be doing, but I know that you grew up in Brooklyn in the late 1920s and early 1930s with Steve Rogers - Captain America, the man on the bridge. You grew up as friends - brothers, even, if the files are to be believed. Then you joined the army, he followed - albeit under very different circumstances, and you were in the same squadron. You...I don't know what happened to you, but you and your squadron fell in HYRDA's clutches. Rogers rescued you all...but you didn't make it. They turned you into the Winter Soldier, and you've been in and of cryogenic suspension and reanimation ever since."

   "What year is it? How old am I?"

   "It's 2014. You were born in 1917 and are, in terms of age, 97. According to HYDRA's files, though, you're about 26, probably closer to 27."

 

   I remained silent for a few seconds, digesting the new-found information. My name was James 'Bucky' Buchanan Barnes. I was born in Brooklyn, New York. I was 97 chronologically, and 27 physically. I had been a soldier, with my best friend.

   Finally, I had a past. I had a real, tangible past. It was _mine_ \- and HYDRA couldn't take that away from me...well, I knew they could, but I wasn't going to let them. Never again. I was Bucky Barnes, I was a Brooklynite, I was tough and I was strong. More than that, so was agent Cooper. And I didn't doubt that she would watch my back; she wasn't a disloyal, backstabbing sycophant like many of the lower-level HYDRA agents. I had a feeling that, unless I backstabbed her, she wouldn't stab me in the back either.

   She was kind, she was warm, and most importantly: she was loyal. Right now I would trust her with my life...and from the fact she was now snoring softly in the bed, I guessed she trusted me too. Even when I rose to my feet, she didn't wake up. Cooper, at least on a subconscious level, trusted me - it was odd knowing that someone actually felt safe around me: especially when they knew that I was an assassin and a tool of HYDRA. No-one so much breathed wrong when I was around, but agent Cooper was snoring quietly, deeply and peacefully asleep.

 

   _I was James "Bucky" Buchanan Barnes. I was 27 years old. I was an American soldier from Brooklyn._

 

   And, for the first time in what I instinctively knew was the first time, I was actually happy.

  

  

  

*******

  

  

  

   "Sergeant Barnes. Melissa Cooper. It is time to wake up." came a robotic voice: "I have some fresh clothes for your use today."

   Melissa groaned, but rolled out of bed: "Please tell Victor thank you."

   "Yes, Ma'am." the robot responded: "Breakfast will be served in one hour in the courtyard. The Master will be there to discuss your plans."

   "We'll be there. Thank you."

 

   Standing up from where I had slept on the floor, I watched as Cooper stretched silently. The way she raised her arms above her head caused the soft grey material of her t-shirt to rise up, baring a pale strip of skin over her abdomen. The skin was marked with pale stretch marks, and her body was a far cry from the lean, muscled bodies of the female agents I had worked with in the past; she was soft, had extra flesh on her. She looked touchable...I wanted to touch her...

   Quickly I banished that thought. Agent Cooper trusted me: I couldn't damage that by laying my hands on her. She would not react positively, and rightly so; no man should lay his hands on a woman unless it was consensual, to assist her, or in a fight. As seeing Agent Cooper fit none of those descriptions...I needed to get all thoughts of physical contact with her out of my head.

   I needed to distract myself.

 

   "The robot called you Melissa - and Doom called you Mel. I thought that your name was Elizabeth." I asked.

   She jumped slightly, but smiled as soon as she saw it was only me watching her: "It is. But I don't use it."

   "Why not?"

   "Because it was my mother's, and I hated the woman. Do you want to use the shower first?"

   I shook my head: "It's all yours. I'll wait out here for you."

 

   She disappeared, scooping up a pile of feminine clothes that the Doombot had brought in. Five minutes later, and she was done: face flushed from the heat of the water, and her hair damp. Her pyjamas had been exchanged for black jeans that clung to her legs and a loose, white V-neck t-shirt that hinted at the curves underneath. I smiled as I passed her into the bathroom, holding my own clothes.

   Doom, in a really rather unsettling way, had guessed my sizes perfectly. It was more combat clothes: almost exactly the same as what I had worn when I had arrived here, but the material was...lighter, more breathable, stronger and more flexible. Doom certainly had access to some interesting things. I left my holsters in the room, tearing off the sleeve that would have hindered my bionic arm. Maybe Doom would be pissed, but...oh well. Agent Cooper may have trusted Doom - and to some extent I trusted her judgement on the matter - but I wasn't going to let my guard down just yet.

   We'd just see how breakfast went first.

  

  


	8. Chapter 8

   "Melissa. Good morning." Doom greeted agent Cooper warmly: "Sergeant Barnes."

   "Don't be an ass." Cooper glared at him: "James is a friend of mine. He saved my life. And do you remember what we promised each other? Any friends of mine are friends of yours, and vice versa. So be nice."

   Doom glared at her, but clearly Cooper wasn't going to be brow-beaten: and after a few moments Doom backed down: "As you wish. Now, to your retaliation plans."

   "Plans?" I asked, wondering what Doom could possibly know about what Melissa would want to do, or what I would want to do, or if we were going to do whatever that was together.

   "Though she claims that you are friends, you clearly do not know Melissa very well, soldier." Doom sneered: "Her very life was threatened - it is in her nature to retaliate against the people who have hurt her. And we, as her apparent friends, are duty-bound to help her."

   "I'm not disagreeing with that." I retorted stubbornly: "What I was wondering was how you knew what we were planning to do."

   "Melissa and I agreed this last night - do you not _remember_?"

   Melissa sat bolt upright suddenly, glaring at Doom: "Victor! Line crossed!" her voice was beyond stern, it was more than angry, she was downright furious. All because of Doom's slight against me.

 

   I was shocked she would even be bothered. I wasn't worth it - and even if I was, Doom making snide comments wasn't something I couldn't handle. They were just words: not code words, no...triggers, nothing but a childish insult. The Winter Soldier could handle insults; empty words were nothing compared to physical blows I had received during my 'training' and then the fights I got into the name of supposedly creating a better world for HYDRA, and finally the 'training' I gave to others.

   That didn't stop me from feeling...gratified by Melissa's response. She cared.

   Being cared for felt good.

 

   "My apologies, soldier." Doom told me insincerely, no matter how serious his tone was. It was the best he could manage, and both Melissa and I knew that.

   So I nodded my acknowledgment and allowed the conversation to continue.

   "What can I do to help you, Melissa?"

   "Well...you're not going to like it, but I already have a plan."

   Doom sighed and rolled his eyes: "When do I _ever_ like your plans? As dastardly as they are, they are often nonsensical and sometimes downright dangerous."

   "But they _do_ work." Melissa asserted.

   "They do work." Doom admitted, being grudgingly.

   "Glad that's settled, then." Melissa smirked: "And, as it is, I'll let you in on it. James and I are going to enlist the help - and here comes the part you won't like, Vee - of Captain America."

   Doom spluttered indignantly, but I was much more articulate in my displeasure: "The man on the bridge?! No! As proficient fighter as he is, he won't stand up against the whole of HYDRA and project INSIGHT."

   "I hate to agree with the mindless HYDRA drone, but - "

   "Just shut up and listen." Melissa interrupted him: "One, I have my doubts about Captain America's abilities too. I have slightly more faith in Agent Romanov, and know nothing about Wilson other than his name. And I don't care; they're not friends of mine, I don't believe in any ideals they represent, I don't give a shit. But I acknowledge that there is strength in numbers...and those three will have friends. Friends who may be able to get us inside S.H.I.E.L.D. without being obvious."

   "My Doombots could do that."

   "You don't need to make yourself an enemy of HYDRA. Not yet, anyway. Captain America means nothing to me - I don't care if he gets shot or not, so why not let him go running in ahead of us while we take HYDRA down and he takes the brunt of the risk."

   "...Not a bad idea." Doom acknowledged, and I had to agree with him; even though it _was_ morally dubious, it did make good tactical sense: "I don't like that you will be allying yourself with Captain America of all people - even Stark would be a better choice - but..."

   "But it could be Richards and the Fucktastic Four, so, you know...not all bad." Melissa smiled.

 

   And just like that, Doom was placated. He offered us all the weapons we needed, body armour (aside from what I was already wearing), and access to his garage of very expensive, very bullet-proof cars.

   Melissa seemed to know what she wanted, filling me in on the aspects of the plans as she went. Though she thought she was just a computer geek, she was a good tactician too. And she had a knack for thinking ahead - she may not know anything about Wilson, but she knew his address. And failing that, she knew the locations of several S.H.I.E.L.D. bases that were so deeply hidden I wasn't sure that even the 'good guys' at the top of S.H.I.E.L.D. knew where they were. And, even if those didn't work...she knew all the codes and half the passwords for all the doors, files, and computers in S.H.I.E.L.D..

 

   "I'm a Mutant." she explained in the car, having changed her clothes for the same lightweight, bullet-proof 'leather' I was wearing: though she had a plain black cotton t-shirt under her jacket and fewer gun holsters: "If I've seen it, I can remember it. It's like having a database or a reference folder inside my mind. I just think of what the information was on, and then it's all... _there_. I'm basically a freaky computer."

   "You're not freaky." I reassured her: "That's amazing."

   She smiled: "Thanks. Now...let's go fuck up Pierce's life."

 

  


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This story changes from the time-line of the film here. I know that, in The Winter Soldier Bucky is wiped before this scene happens, but I've switched it round so the plot works. And, just as a side not to clear things up, Bucky was not the one to shot/wound Natasha: because he was with Agent Cooper the whole time.

   We infiltrated the S.H.I.E.L.D. hide-out at a disused damn six hours later - just as Captain America, Wilson, and a wounded Agent Romanov did.

  

   "GSW. She's lost at least a pint." S.H.I.E.L.D. Agent Maria Hill called out as she, Wilson, and Captain America carrying Romanov hurried right past our hiding place: a closed-off alcove.

   "Maybe two." Wilson added.

   A stranger in a suit and glasses came jogging down the corridor to meet them: "Let me take her."

   "She'll want to see him first."

 

   There was the sound of footsteps rushing away from us, as fast as I assumed the wounded Widow could manage. Considering her gun-shot wound, it was a fairly impressive pace, though she was dragging her feet, shuffling more than walking. I doubted she'd move as quickly without the good Captain at her side.

   _Considerate man_. Ever the gentlemanly soldier, Agent Cooper had told me as we had hunted them down earlier. The media portrayed him as the perfect American ideals given human form: he was polite, god-fearing, didn't curse, fought for freedom and patriotism, and (most importantly) he was a winner. As far as the American public were concerned, Captain America could do nothing wrong. That didn't extend to his teammates on the Avengers, but the people's love for him was inexhaustible. It was why we were trying to keep this as private as possible.

   Violence may have to be utilised before they listened to us - if they listened to us at all. And no-one would accept we were the 'good guys' if I was kicking the shit out of Captain America in public, even though it would be impossible to escape notice if HYDRA got as far as their plan as Agent Cooper thought they might.

 

   "...collarbone, perforated liver, and one hell of a head-ache." we caught the tail end of a conversation, creeping into the large room where the Captain, Hill, Romanov, Wilson, and the doctor were in contained in...along with a hospital bed-bound Nicholas Fury. Which was interesting.

 

   I had thought I'd killed him.

 

   "Don't forget your collapsed lung."

   "Let's not forget that. Otherwise I'm good."

   Romanov wasn't convinced of any of this: "They cut you open. Your heart stopped."

   "Tetrodotoxin B." Fury 'explained' (though his explanation made no sense): "Slows the pulse to one beat a minute. Banner developed it for stress - didn't work so great for him, but we found a use for it."

   "Makes sense." Agent Cooper snorted dryly, too quietly for anyone but me to hear:"Classic S.H.I.E.L.D.."

   "Why all the secrecy? Why not just tell us?" Captain America asked. I rolled my eyes - as if it wasn't obvious?

 

   Clearly, Agent Cooper was feeling similarly exasperated by the Captain's short-sightedness, since she decided now was the time to step into the light of the middle of the room. Much to the shock of the occupants.

   I stayed close to her side, anticipating attack.

 

   "Can't kill what's already dead." she told them, watching the room carefully for sudden movements or threats. Like I would let anything or anyone hurt her: "If HYDRA thought he was gone, then they wouldn't come after him again. Leaving him time to rest, recover, and think of a plan."

 

   Silence reigned.

 

   "That's clever." Agent Hill said eventually, cautiously getting to her feet and drawing a knife from a sheathe on her thigh, holding up in a defensive pose as she slowly stepped closer:

   I pushed Agent Cooper behind me, drawing a pistol and aiming it straight between Hill's eyes. Hadn't she ever been told? You don't bring a knife to a gun fight. Fortunately, (for her) Captain America was there to suddenly jerk forwards, eyes alight with hope: "Bucky!"

   I ignored him, gestured for Agent Cooper to speak: "We're not here for a fight."

   "Then why are you armed?" Romanov sneered.

   Cooper just looked at her like she would a moody teenager: "Because you are. And we didn't know if you'd be hostile or not."

   "It tried to kill the director!" Hill pointed at me.

   "That was...regrettable." Cooper said slowly: "But if James really wanted Fury dead, do you think he wouldn't have already killed him? He's in no state to defend himself."

   Fury nodded, making Hill sat back down grudgingly, and Captain America to withdraw back to where he had stood before: looking somewhat defeated: "They're right. So, if you're not here to kill me...what do you want?"

   "To help."


	10. Chapter 10

   "You want to help us?" Romanov asked incredulously: "Why?"

   "Because we want to bring down HYDRA. And...as the saying goes, the enemy of my enemy is my friend." Cooper shrugged.

   Wilson snorted in bemusement: "You two _are_ HYDRA."

   "No - we _were_ HYDRA." Cooper corrected him, impressively not losing her temper when I would've sent someone through a wall by now if it was me doing the convincing: "But things change. Pierce needs to be stopped and - irrespective of anything I or James believe - we know you agree with us on that. And there's strength in numbers...so we decided to offer our assistance."

   "And if we don't want it?" Agent Hill asked snidely. Her stupidity made me want to roll my eyes - and then choke her. Cooper was right; there was strength in numbers, and all of us did agree that Pierce needed to be stopped. Yet Hill was being stubborn: and her stupidity may just cost them two allies. If I was Fury, The Captain, or, hell, any of them, I would have stopped her. Especially _before_ she started insulting us: "What if we don't your slimy, traitorous - "

   "Maria, enough." Fury finally interrupted: "We don't have to like them, but the Winter Soldier and...and I'm afraid I don't know your name, Miss...?"

   "Agent Cooper."

   "But the Winter Solder and Agent Cooper are right; they can help us, and we need their help. So..."

   "Welcome to the team." Captain America piped up.

 

   Well that made me feel so much happier.

   Even so, it was a victory (be it a minor one) since they had accepted us into their ranks. And Agent Cooper instantly amalgamated herself into the proceedings as if she'd been part of it all along. I was a little more reserved, not liking the way they glared at Cooper's back when she wasn't looking. But as Fury had said, I didn't have to like these people: I only had to work with them. And by now, I was an _expert_ on working with and for people that I detested. All I had to do was keep an eye on Cooper, keep her alive.

   Not only was she my only true ally in this room - she was my only friend, too. And, of course, there was the fact Doom would murder me if a hair on her head was harmed: after a lengthy torture session. He'd told me as much. But most importantly, Cooper had looked after me: she cared about my safety. And I cared about hers.

   I'd stick with her until the end of the line.

 

   "So what's the plan?" Cooper asked.

   Hill and Fury shared a look, before she got up and returned a moment later with a brief case. There was a brief explanation: something to do with taking over weapons systems, reprogramming them to aim for something other than HYDRA wanted. Then Hill opened the case to reveal three computer chips - the kind I had seen being worked on by Pierce's team of scientists: Cooper included, for the helicarriers HYDRA were planning to hijack. But Wilson didn't know that: "What are those?"

   "Once the helicarriers reach three-thousand feet," Hill explained: "they'll triangulate with INSIGHT satellites: becoming fully weaponised."

   Fury spoke up next: "We need to breach those carriers, and replace their targeting blades with our own."

   "One or two won't cut it." Cooper spoke up: "I helped design these: even if one blade is in place, the targeting system will work the way they want it to and not the way we do. It's a failsafe to protect against damage...or attack. We need to link all three carriers for the targeting to work to our advantage."

   "If even one of those ships remain operational..." Romanov trailed off.

   Hill shook her head grimly: "A whole lot of people are gonna die."

   "We have to assume everybody aboard those carriers is HYDRA - unless the Winter Soldier or Agent Cooper can confirm otherwise?"

   "They're all HYDRA." I replied: "Pierce started setting about replacing those he didn't think he could induct into HYDRA. Too much critical equipment up there, and once people realised with they'd done...they couldn't risk someone growing a conscience."

   "Like you apparently did." Wilson glared. Cooper ignored him.

   "So we need to get past every single person on that ship, insert our server blades, and maybe - just maybe - we can salvage what's left." Fury finished.

    For the first time since getting in here, I spoke up: "No."

   "Excuse me?"

   "I said _no_."


	11. Chapter 11

   "We're not salvaging anything. For one, Agent Cooper and I did not sign up to be part of your little organisation." I sneered: "I've had enough of being subservient to people who don't feel the need to explain their actions. Secondly, S.H.I.E.L.D. is HYDRA and HYDRA is S.H.I.E.L.D.. Have you learned nothing? You resurrect S.H.I.E.L.D. and you resurrect HYDRA. You need to burn the whole thing to the ground: or otherwise you would have achieved _nothing_."

   "Bucky's right." Captain America piped up, annoying me since he seemed to think he could call me something other than my name - I was sick of people not calling me by my name. "We're not just taking down the carriers, Nick. We're taking down S.H.I.E.L.D.."

   "S.H.I.E.L.D. had nothing to do with this."

 

   Nicholas Fury, for all the respect he garnered, for all the missions he had successfully overseen, for all the superheroes he had helped to 'create', was a total and utter _imbecile_.

 

   Captain America seemed to hold similar opinions: "You gave me this mission. This is how it ends. S.H.I.E.L.D.'s been compromised, you said so yourself; HYDRA gre right under your nose and nobody noticed - "

   "Why do you think we're meeting in this cave?" Fury interrupted: "I noticed."

   "How many paid the price before you did?"

 

   And on that note, Captain America stormed out.

   I supposed he felt his point was made - be it in a very overdramatic way. I couldn't imagine myself being friends with someone like that. Maybe it was my time in HYDRA, perhaps I was jaded from the wet work I had had to do, but I found his self-righteousness aggravating. I wanted to punch his perfect face, make him fight me, bring him down to my level. See how he liked actually having to get his hands dirty.

   You could always tell a soldier with clean hands: and Captain America was one of those soldiers. No-one had directly died by his hands, he'd never had to torture of main to gain information, never had to look a comrade in the eye as the light left their gaze while knowing that you could of done something but were prevented from doing so by your orders or circumstance. And even if he had had to do any of those things, no-one held him responsible for any wrong-doing anyway.

 

   "You were right, Agent Cooper." I muttered: "He is a self-righteous son of a bitch."

   "Hey - " Wilson stepped forward aggressively, but instantly I was covered by Cooper aiming and his feet and letting off a warning shot.

   "You think he's violent - wait until I lose my temper." she warned: "Don't threaten us again."

   Fury seemed to be calculating her words, but right now I couldn't care less; all I wanted to know was whether I was going to have to shoot anyone. Fortunately, cooler heads prevailed: "I think everyone needs some space to decompress." he said calmly: "Cool down and meet back here in two hours to go over the finer points of the plan."

 

   Agent Cooper and Wilson both seemed unwilling to look away first. But then Cooper's eyes flashed pure black and Wilson jerked back in shock. Cooper laughed and turned away, obviously feeling like she'd won that argument...and the anger on Wilson's face suggested he felt the same way. That or he just hated her...I supposed it wouldn't be surprising.

   We were HYDRA. We were the enemy.

   Of course he wasn't going to like this. But I couldn't say I cared; he and his opinions meant little to me. I had previously wondered (briefly) if I had been damaged more than just physically by HYDRA - it had only been a brief consideration because I had almost immediately come to the conclusion that of course I had been. I had no memories of my life before a HYDRA, but previous handlers had taunted me with the words 'if only your comrades could see you now 'Bucky'.' Obviously I had been a very different man before I was the Winter Soldier. But that was hardly surprising.

   Learning that hadn't been what convinced me I was broken inside. It was the psyche analysis they eventually put me under - and then spoke about as if I wasn't even in the room, drugged into submissiveness or otherwise.

   _'He's like a beaten guard dog'_ the lead psychologist had explained: _'Loyal, but dangerous. One too many kicks and he'll take your whole leg.'_ His partner had evidently agreed, saying that _'he will devote himself to a person, a cause with a one-track mind - but that devotion will only last so long. Sooner or later, it will break.'_

   That was one of the reasons I had spent so long on stasis - to stop me from finding another cause to follow. As it turned out, it wasn't a cause. Just a person.

   Agent Elizabeth Melissa Cooper.

   My friend.

   The only person I would trust to lead me by the hand out into the open atop the abandoned damn. And smile while I followed her.


	12. Chapter 12

   "James...you know you don't have to call me Agent Cooper, right?" Agent Cooper - or not - asked once we were out of sight and earshot of the doors. But not so far we wouldn't be alerted by a serious commotion.

   I was confused. She was saying I didn't have to call her by her title...she was saying I could be informal with her. Why would she want that? "Why wouldn't I?"

   "Why would you?"

   "Because...I...I mean I _know_ you're not my Handler; you're my friend, but in the absence of a Handler...I'll admit I'm looking to you for direction." I told her, feeling slightly ashamed; I was an experienced HYDRA agent, more so than her, and before that I had been a specialised American soldier. I should be able to make my own decisions.

   "Makes sense, I suppose." she breathed: "Adjustment must be hard. I get that. But I'm not your Handler, James. I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to do. I'll advise, I'll give you all the help I can, but I'm not going to give you orders. Ever. And...because of that, you know you don't have to call me a friend? I mean - I'd like us to be; I think we could both use friends that at least have some understandings of each others' pasts, but...but you know, you were friends with the Captain once, it might be good for you to rebuild that bridge too..."

   "All I want to do it punch him." I confessed: "He gets under my skin - a bit like you did, but not in the same way. He aggravates me."

   She smiled, amusement glinting in her eyes: " _That_ I understand. So I suppose we should work out another name for me other than Agent Cooper."

   "I...what would I call you then?" I asked: "Not Elizabeth."

   "Well that was my only suggestion. It's down to you."

   "Lissa." I decided, a moment of clarity hitting me.

   Lissa smiled at me warmly: "I like it. And I know I never asked, sorry about that - do you want to be called James? Or is Bucky? Or something else?"

   "Just James." I smiled: "That's my name, after all."

 

   I had never known anyone called Lissa.

   I wasn't sure how I knew that, but I did. It was something unique and new to me, just like she was. Besides, it was cute: just like the way she blushed and smiled when I announced her new name. New and different and positive. It fit her perfectly in my eyes.

   We stayed overlooking the trees surrounding us in silence, comfortable enough that we didn't feel the need to talk. That, and I guessed that neither of us were really 'chatty', as such. Silence was something both of us were used and resigned to by now: to the point where it would be more uncomfortable than not to make idle small talk. I liked that Lissa respected that, didn't try to break me out of the habit. Maybe it was one I would have to change...but not yet.

   And I was sure that, when I was ready, Lissa would help me that.

   Besides, silence could be useful. Obviously it prevented enemies or targets from finding you out. And it also allowed you to overhear interesting parts of other peoples' conversations. Like the one happening between Wilson and Captain America just around the corner:

 

   "Look whoever he used to be, and whoever he is now...I don't think he's the kind you save. He's the kind you stop." Wilson pointed out. And he wasn't wrong.

   "I don't know if I can do that." Captain America denied. Optimistic bastard.

   "He might not give you the choice. He's with that Cooper woman, now. He doesn't know you."

   "He will."

 

   _I would not._

 

   Well...I was sure that, if I had to work with him: I would get to know him at least a little bit. But I didn't want to be his friend, or whatever I had been to him before. It had been over fifty years, and it was clear that we had been on very, very different paths since then. I mean...I wasn't even sure that it was _possible_ to be friends after all that.

  


	13. Chapter 13

   "Be safe." I murmured to Lissa, my hands on her waist as I held her close: "You're not trained in combat - stay out of the way, if you can. Don't decide to play the hero. That's their job." I nodded over to where Agent Hill, Sam Wilson, and Captain America were pretending not to watch me say goodbye to Lissa: "I promise I'll come and find you afterwards."

   "You better." she growled playfully - even though from her eyes and the set of her shoulders I knew that she was worried: "Or else _I_ will come and find _you_. And I will not be happy."

 

   I smiled at her, tugging her into a tighter hold before letting her go and splitting up.

   Lissa went with Hill to work on the technological side of the plan. Wilson, Captain America went to deal with the more...physical side. We were going to go and make sure that the tricarriers never reached their deadly potential.

   One targeting blade each. One shot at saving the world, or so it had been explained to me. Captain America wasn't armed (of course), Wilson was wearing his metal bird wings, and I had the small armoury Doom had leant me strapped all over my body. Multiple guns, two knives, even grenades: both sonic and the more traditional exploding kind. The weapons had earned me some disapproving looks from those at the S.H.I.E.L.D. facility, but Lissa had been relieved to see I would be fully protected, and that was what mattered most to me.

   I had promised I would return to her. And so I would have to have as many ways to get through this alive as I could. To return to Lissa, alive, whole (or at least as whole as I was now), and safe. So fuck what Captain America and his bird friend thought of me; Lissa's opinion was the only one that mattered.

 

   "So...you and Cooper..." Wilson broke the silence as we used an elevator to get down to the Insight bay.

   "What about us?" I responded, already not liking where this was going.

   "So there's an ' _us_ ' between you two?"

   I rolled my eyes: "No."

   "You look very close." Captain America stated: sounding a little...bitter, almost. Like it mattered to him what my relationship with Lissa was.

   "She's my friend." I shrugged: "She got me out of HYDRA. She didn't leave me behind. We're friends."

   Neither of them seemed overly accepting of my answer, but let it go when the doors pinged open and the Captain was distracted by our imminent danger: "Well then, men...good luck. I'll see you on the other side."

 

   We split up, each one of us getting on one of the tricarriers to replace one of the targeting blades. It was simple enough...except for the fact that between me and the targeting housing unit were multiple members of the Strike Team wanting to stop me. I would need to get in and out as quickly as possible, which was why as Captain America and his loyal follower went to go and make an inspiring speech, I went to tricarrier 3 - my target.

   Hopefully I could get in and out before the S.T.R.I.K.E. and Insight teams ever knew there was a threat coming.

   Just because the Captain and Wilson wanted to give the _S.H.I.E.L.D._ agents a fair chance to differentiate themselves from the HYDRA agents - I didn't think it mattered. We (or rather _they_ ) could sort that out after we had brought down the tricarriers. Everyone captaining, maintaining, or was even just aboard those would be HYDRA, undboubtably; the jobs wouldn't be trusted to S.H.I.E.L.D. agents; it would create too much of a security risk. Why not just get the job done, remove the HYDRA agents aboard, and then work on who was still alive on the ground?

   Because he wanted to give them a 'fair chance'. The self-righteous, short-sighted idiot. There was no 'fair' in war: your enemy did not give you warnings. So while he was going on about how 'it was time for people to know the truth', and how we could stop them - even if he was 'asking a lot'. It was ridiculous. All S.H.I.E.L.D. agents had combat training: hell, even the scientists and computer people like Lissa.

   Maybe they weren't all as well trained as the S.T.R.I.K.E. team: but the S.T.R.I.K.E. team were heavily outnumbered and also outgunned. Yes, people would die: but people were going to die anyway. Asking them to help them save their own lives didn't seem to much to me. But fuck it, it didn't matter.

   I was already on my tricarrier. And was already in position to switch the blade - probably before Captain America was done congratulating himself on his rousing patriotic speech.

   I switched the blades, then started moving to make my escape. I had my parachute on, so it was simple enough to drop through the air back down to the tarmac from which the tricarriers had ascended from.

   Mission complete.

 

   _Now all I have to do is get back to Lissa_.


	14. Chapter 14

   _'A job well done, guys.'_ Hill's voice came through my ear-piece, and I could hear the smug sense of victory in her tone: _'Now all we have to do is deal with Pierce and Rumlow.'_

 

   My Handler the twisted sociopath and the leader of the S.T.R.I.K.E. team - a major leader in HYDRA's forces, and a complete bastard.

   I couldn't wait.

 

   _'We're on our way up.'_ the Captain informed her: _'Buck, you there?'_

   "ETA...seven minutes, twenty seconds." I replied, starting my jog up to the top level of the former S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ. Now S.H.I.E.L.D. was no more...I didn't know what it was. Didn't really care, either.

   _'See you there.'_ he told me, sounding pleased by my response.

   "Lissa?" I asked, instead of responding: "You good?"

 

   Static.

   No response. Fear filled my veins for the first time in...in years, in _decades_. Something was wrong here; Lissa would have responded to me no matter what, if she was able to. The fact that she _did_ not answer me indicated that she _could_ not answer me...and that could only be because of something bad.

   I kicked up my pace, continuing to ask Lissa periodically where she was, if she was okay. Hill could also be heard asking Lissa for her location and status. But neither of us got any response. Captain America was running through the eastern side of the building, and Wilson the northern, while I took the west corner. It wasn't until we had all announced that we had cleared the twenty-ninth floor that there was a response from Lissa's mic.

   Laughter. Hard, masculine, cold laughter.

   Rumlow.

 

   _'This is great, people, it really is - but I've heard it twenty-nine times, and I'm getting bored...and poor little 'Lissa' is in a very uncomfortable position up here. As is Agent Romanov.'_ more laughter, more rage in my system: _'Better hurry up. Especially you, Barnes; we've got a score to settle.'_

 

   Oh, we were going to settle a score alright.

   By me blowing his brains across the floor...after I'd broken every bone in the hands he'd laid on Lissa, cut out the tongue he'd used to taunt her, broken his fucking face for the smirk he'd worn while hurting her. I was going to make him suffer, and I was going to enjoy it.

   I sprinted harder than I could ever remember doing: my legs and lungs burning with the effort, but I didn't let it stop me, didn't slow down. The slower I was, the longer Lissa spent at Rumlow's mercy...and 'mercy', when it came to him, was a _very_ loose term. I'd seen that...he wasn't a man, I'd seen that _beast_ torture HYDRA's prisoners for fun...and other, darker, more twisted reasons when the prisoner was female and pretty enough to draw his attention. And Lissa, with her silky blonde hair, big, gleaming golden eyes, and her pretty mouth, was just his type.

   I had to save her.

   The others tried to calm me down through my earpiece, but I pulled it out and crushed it under my boot before it had any real effect. I didn't want to be calm. I wanted to hurt Rumlow.

   But then I froze. James Barnes may be able to hurt Rumlow...but the Winter Solider could hurt him worse. And the Winter Soldier was calm, cool-headed, collected.

   Pausing, I took a deep breath: and slowly started to pull myself back into the mind-frame of the assassin. Not to believe HYDRA's lies, I didn't use my trigger words, even though I knew them, but I pushed my rage, my emotions down: away from my conscious thoughts. It was difficult. Everything in me wanted to rage, but I couldn't. Not if I really wanted to save Lissa.

   Eventually, I managed it. I was cold, calm, and focused.

   I was the Winter Soldier.

 

   "You took your time." sneered Wilson when I finally entered the room, frozen with his hands in the air besides Captain America, Wilson, and Fury himself. Corpses littered the floor, Hill was nowhere to be seen. Agent Romanov was glaring at Pierce, who had has hand on the remote...he'd weaponised something on her person, most likely. Was holding her to ransom.

   And Rumlow had Lissa bent over in front of him, her arm twisted up behind her back: almost at an angle to break it. Her face was streaked with tears, her lip split and bleeding while he laughed about it: "I've already had some fun with her, Asset. And I look forward to having some more after she's watched you die."

 

   Not going to happen.

   I took a step forwards, watching shock and fear suffuse over Rumlow's face before I was stopped by Wilson's shout.

 

   "Don't!" he impeached: "Pierce has Agent Romanov's security ID to burn a hole in her sternum."

   _Like I cared_. Something Pierce seemed to know I was thinking: "Oh, he doesn't care. That's why we captured dear Elizabeth - or Lissa, as he seems wont to call her. Need a new way to leash our asset...ironic, since she was the one to set him 'free' in the first place."

   "James - " Lissa shrieked, her words cut off as Rumlow wrenched her arm, something snapping audibly as he did: "Stop it. I know what you did - if you can turn it on, you can turn it back off. Please. Don't be what they want you to be."

 

   I wanted so badly to disobey her...to step closer...but although I wasn't willing to drop the Winter Soldier part of me just yet, but I did stop where I stood, slowly put my hands in the air like the others.

   Even now, I knew I wouldn't want to upset Lissa. Not when I was James again, and not the Winter Soldier.

   And, so...we were at a stalemate.

 


	15. Chapter 15

   Rumlow glared at me the while time Pierce was sneering at Fury: about how Pierce could make a better world, just at the cost of twenty million lives.

   Even I doubted I wanted to live in Pierce's 'better world'. No-one sane would. But, unless I was willing to get Romanov killed (which I wasn't, for Lissa's sake), there was nothing I could do to stop him ranting and raving about how the world needed to be improved...nothing but think.

   I recognised the remote in Pierce's hand. It was an experimental piece of equipment: a tiny amount of fuel for a powerful chemical reaction that, even on a minute scale, was strong enough to burn through the human sternum. But it was exactly that: experimental. It wasn't fool-proof, no weapon was, but this...this weapon was particularly risky to use, if strong. Effective.

   But disruptable. With electricity...and I had some small 'grenades' that sent a very, very small EMP across the skin. Enough to stun, sometimes to knock someone unconscious, but not enough to kill. If given to Romanov, she could set if off, disarm the device Pierce had pinned to her, and then act against Pierce. But how to communicate that to her when I couldn't speak...

   As soon as I looked Romanov, though, one of the grenades in my hand, I realised she had been thinking the same thing.

   With a slight nod, I tossed it towards her.

   She caught it, activated it, blue electricity dancing over her skin and drawing all attention to her.

   Chaos ensued.

   Romanov dropped to the floor. Captain America lunged at Pierce. Wilson moved to get the weapon off of Romanov. And I leapt and Rumlow. He pulled Lissa upright by her broken arm, making her scream in pain, before the sound was cut off when Rumlow placed a razor-sharp blade at her throat. I froze, a growl rumbling low in my throat.

 

   "Come any closer, and I'll slit her throat."

   "Let. Her. Go." I sneered: "Now."

   He just laughed: "Now why would I do that? She's my ticket out of here."

   "If you take her, all it will do is give me an incentive to follow you." I told him: "To hunt you down and _slaughter_ you. But, if you let her go: I won't follow you; I don't give a shit about you, or anything you do. All I want is Lissa."

 

   Rumlow considered it. He was clearly thinking about it; he didn't want the Winter Soldier on his tail, and I knew that he wasn't particularly bothered about Lissa, either. So why not give Lissa over to me?

   Clearly he couldn't think of a reason why not - so he threw her at me.

   She stumbled over the floor, blinded by tears and pain, almost falling flat on her face before I caught her around the waist, pulling her close against my chest. I felt her sob loudly against my body-armour, relief and the agony from her arm leaving her weak and scared. I didn't try to snap her out of it, didn't tell her she was being childish. I just let her cry and wail, feeling peculiarly warm at the trust she was showing in me.

   Besides, I was in no rush. Romanov was back on her feet, and she, Wilson, and Captain America were soon after Rumlow: while Fury kept a gun aimed at Pierce. I had no need to rush anywhere, not when Lissa was safe in my arms. Nowhere...except away from here.

 

   "C'mon, let's go." I muttered in her ear: "Back to your friend's. He can help with your arm - and keep us out of this mess."

   She nodded: "Before they notice."

 

   And then we were gone.

          

                 

 

*******

  

 

       

   Lissa slept soundly by my side as I drove back to Doom's mansion.

   I reckoned she'd actually passed out from the pain of her broken arm and other, minor injuries, as well as an adrenaline crash. But I was sure Doom would have the facilities to help her...physically, at least. Mentally, it may take a little longer: but I would help her every step of the way, no matter what she needed.

   Whether she wanted to disappear and start a new life, or she wanted me to break her into where the government were holding Rumlow prisoner and help her break his neck, I'd do it...I might do the last one independently, actually. I'd asked Lissa what had happened between when Rumlow captured her and when I showed up, and she'd played it down: the ripped neck-line of her shirt and bruised across her throat and...lower than that, spoke of what he'd done to her. If the government didn't execute them...well, Doom and I may have to arrange a little accident for him.

   Doom had already called when he saw the destruction to the old S.H.I.E.L.D. HQ: now little more than a pile of rubble. Lissa had fobbed him off like she'd tried to do with me, but I didn't think it would work on him either. All it was was a matter of time until Rumlow met a very unfortunate end.

   Until then...Lissa and I needed to rest, heal, recuperate...and then we could do whatever she wanted to go and do. I'd be right by her side, for as long as she wanted me to be.

 


	16. Chapter 16

   "A broken arm, split lip, mild concussion, and multiple bruises." Doom listed when Lissa awoke the next morning, neither he or I having left her room or slept since she'd been out: "I suppose that, in reality, it could have been worse. However, I still said that I did not like this plan."

   "Have you come in here _just_ to say 'I told you so'?" was Lissa's only response, rolling her eyes exasperatedly.

   "Yes."

   "Well, get out then."

 

   Doom did not get out - but he did change the subject, moving on to something about all of S.H.I.E.L.D.'s (and HYDRA's) files being all over the internet - and 'trending', whatever the hell that meant. Basically, potentially anyone and everyone knew everything that both HYDRA and S.H.I.E.L.D. had known.

   Everyone knew about HYDRA.

   Everyone knew that I was the Winter Soldier.

   Everyone knew that Lissa had been a HYDRA agent.

   Should anyone look deep enough, they would know those things. Lissa was probably safe; she hadn't been high up in HYDRA's ranks, nor was she infamous for any heinous acts committed in the public eye. She should be fine, so long as she didn't get herself arrested or anything, and avoided being around any other, more well-known HYDRA agents...

   Like me.

   Before Doom even mentioned giving me a head-start, I was thinking of how I could slip out and give us some time to disassociate ourselves so she wouldn't get caught up in the retribution against me. But she was having none of it: asking Doom what the hell he was talking about.

   Neither of us said a word. We didn't want to face the blank refusal she would inevitably give us. Lissa wouldn't want to let me get away from her; she actually cared about me, and wouldn't want me to be left alone to face any backlash. And, obviously, I admired that about her - I would actually go so far as to say I loved it about her, as much as I could love anything or anyone, but I couldn't let her get her way in this. I couldn't let her get hurt because of me.

 

   "If you're thinking what I think you're thinking..." she glared at us: "...You had better not be."

   "That is a far too convoluted sent- "

   _"Victor!"_ Lissa shrieked angrily.

 

   I swore to God the man paled under his mask.

 

   "You deal with this, Soldier." he snapped at me, although he couldn't quite hide the intimidation in his voice: "I have things to which I must attend."

   "James." Lissa warned as soon as he was out of the door...but then her tone changed, became almost...lost: "...Please don't leave me."

   I shook my head: "I wouldn't if there was any other way to keep you safe."

   "I don't want to be safe - I want to stay with you."

   "Why?"

 

   She didn't answer - but she did blush.

   HYDRA had trained me to read body language and subtle signs that showed you want people didn't want to tell you...but I didn't know what to make of Lissa.

   She was resting her hand against the side of her neck, she was blushing, her breathing was slightly quicker than average: as was her pulse - the beat just visible in the hollow of her throat, her nostrils were ever so slightly flared, and her pupils were very slightly dilated. Any of those things could mean anything, but all together there was only two options as to what it could mean: she was scared of me, or she was in love with me.

 

   _I knew she wasn't scared of me._

 

   "Melissa...do you...like me? More than a friend?"

   Lissa blushed silently...but she nodded.

 

   I couldn't help myself.

   Jerking forward, I scooped her up and pressed my lips to hers, hard.

   Her lips were so soft, gentle against mine as the kiss became tender, passionate. I raised my human hand to cup her cheek, her warm skin silky against my palm as I pulled her closer and slid my tongue over her lower lip. Lissa moaned softly, opening her mouth to let my tongue tangle with hers, the taste of sweet cherries and dark chocolate invading my mouth. I couldn't help but moan either, the way she stood and pressed herself closer to me, getting deeper into the kiss.

 

   Eventually, we broke apart, panting softly and smiling each other. I reached up to brush a wavy strand of hair out of her face, seeing her eyes light up as she spoke: "I...I think I more than like you."

   "I more than like you too." came the immediate response, genuine affection and admiration for Lissa filling my words.

   She believed me, honestly believed me even with my past: "So don't leave me."

   I shook my head: "I...I can't let you get hurt, Lissa. People will hunt me, and if you're with me: you're going to get hunted too."

   Despite how serious I was, Lissa just smiled: "Well...I always fancied going travelling."

 

   _She isn't going to be left behind_ , I thought: _If I go: she'll follow...so we may as go together...I can look after her; and it's not as if she's stupid, she's far smarter than I ever will be, especially when it comes to technology..._

  

   "Okay..." I smiled at Lissa: "Where do you want to go first?"


	17. Chapter 17

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The last chapter! Just a little epilogue to finish off the story.

_~ 12 Months Later... ~_

 

   I smiled, leaning back to soak in the warmth from the strong Italian Summer Sun.

   Since we had left Doom's home in Washington, Lissa and I had been taking an extended holiday. England, Spain, Switzerland, France, Belgium, The Netherlands, Denmark, Sweden, Belarus, and now Italy. We really had been all over, and I wouldn't stop it for the world. Even though we had very little contact with the outside world...it didn't matter to me, because I had Lissa by my side.

   The woman herself slumped down next to me, her now tanned golden skin glistening with water from the private pool of the mansion we were staying in. I pushed my sun-glasses up on top of my head to turn and look her in the eye: seeing her smile brightly before she leaned up to press a light peck against my lips.

 

   "Enjoy your swim?"

   "I enjoy it more when you swim with me." she smirked.

   I laughed: "I didn't want to keep handing you ass to you when we raced."

   She just snorted: "Since when have you ever wanted to keep your hands off my ass?"

   Laughing harder, I did just that, and dropped my human hand down to rest on the curve of her backside: "That's a very good point..."

   Lissa smiled...her own hand slipping under me to touch me in the same way. The playfulness we shared always increased the warmth I felt inside, the love I held for her: " _Ya lyublyu tebya_ , Lissa." I whispered in Russian.

   " _Ya tozhe tebya lyublyu_ , James."

 

   _I love you, Lissa._

_I love you too, James._


End file.
